If I have to suffer, I would prefer to suffer well.
I don't like listening to other people whine about their problems.
or to myself whining.

So unattractive.

If my children were whining like me, I'd snap.
How can God stand it?

But to do anything well wants practice
and . . . 10,000 hours of suffering?
do I have an alternative here?

Suffering comes to us all.  
Everyone
loses a job
fails an assignment
has people die on them

we're all going to do it
and maybe some more than others

(but it's not like we have some sort of units to assign suffering
which we could then measure
against our capacity
for some sort of *perceived* suffering score, to know whether
something *feels* harder)

and we can learn to do it well
or not

but maybe if we learn to do it well . . .
well, it's not like we'll actually suffer *less*
because we'll notice more to grieve

but maybe if we learn to grieve
and to grieve those things that grieve God
we'll be more capable of standing up under it?

But if we never learn to lean into it
will every little hurt
ache and ache and cry

God suffers
He says--keep your eye on the cross
See
how I suffer
and what I suffer for
and what pains me
and what is endurable

and it is there that he invites us
to sit down and
have a cup of coffee

God wants to share his pain and
are we willing to listen?